I am having lunch with my friends, Cyprian and Martine at their home in Chartres, France. It is a simple fare of tabouleh salad, pasta with homemade mayonnaise and delicious bits of salmon mixed in.
On television, there is a documentary on Armenian Christians of France. At the table, we are talking about social integration in the country. It all started when I asked if immigrants were welcomed in French society.
Martine replies yes, but they are expected to become fully French as they live in France.
“We are very proud of our history and expect people to know it,” says Martine, explaining that it is the base of French patriotism.
The fact that Russian nobility in the 17th century spoke French is still a source of pride for French citizens today. They are proud of their culture, of their language and want to conserve it.
French was the lingua franca for 3 centuries, only recently overshadowed by English. In an effort to preserve their language, French conservators are requiring, for instance, that American movies showing in Paris theaters be dubbed instead of subtitled.
I remark how different that attitude is from the United States. When I became an American citizen, the juge at the beautiful courtroom ceremony said words that warmed my heart:
“Although you have sworn loyalty to the United States government, you should keep your culture, your language, because with your heritage, you enrich America.”
By contrast, French of the right wing say: throw out your culture in order to become French.
Martine explains French conservators fear losing their Frenchness. They want to hold on to the French culture by all means. That includes creating courses to bring immigrants up to speed with French history and behavior. Indeed, after a couple of generations, the immigrant family looks very much French.
What conservators do not realize is that you do not lose your culture by living next door to someone who has a different one.
“I cannot expect Cyprian to have the same childhood memories as I do,” Martine says. “That’s impossible and ridiculous.”
At one point she opens a tupperware. The smell almost knocks me out. Martine cuts into the Camembert and offers us a piece. Cyprian and I both vigorously shake our heads no. I like cheese, but not that kind. As for Cyprian, he does not eat cheese. Period. I am sure Martine would faint over some of our strong smelling African dishes.
“I am married to him and we have children together,” Martine continues. “And I still consider myself very much French.”
Martine was born and raised in Chartres. Cyprian is originally from Nigeria and as he says himself he has firmly planted ‘his bottle’ (ie. his life) in Chartres, France.
They are not unique as far as mixed couples.
I remember the first week I was in France. I was standing in the main aisle of a supermarket, watching people as they shopped. I saw so many mixed couple pass by; I was amazed.
Despite its conservatism, France has the highest number of mixed couples in Europe.